A New Year

The end of another year... It's weird how having kids seems to make them go so much faster. I spent this whole year having trouble with the idea that 1997 was 10 years ago. It seems like yesterday to me. 6 months from now Achilles will turn 4. My oldest son will be 3 in a few months. How did all of this happen?!

I have never made a New Year's Resolution. Mostly because I know myself. I'm lazy and procrastinate. Just because its a new year, doesn't mean I'm going to miraculously change into a goal-orientated achiever. (Not that that is a bad thing to be!) But I think I might consider it this year. Having small kids and lots of pets has helped me get more organized. Yearly appointments have to be made and kept, vaccinations, dentist trips... I swear it seems like we have several appointments of some sort every month. I've never in my life had this many appointments! For instance: on the 4th I have a dentist appointment, on the 7th Caayn goes to discuss the ol' snip snip with his dr, on the 8th Caayn is driving with Jimmy to Bismarck for a big appointment, and on the 9th is my first obedience class with Athena. Holy cow.

In the past month I have gone more places by myself than I have in all 4 years of our marriage. We've always done things together. I think it's an improvement. Us doing everything together was very special--I've never really met any couple who did that. But for me, the improvement comes in the fact that I am able to let it happen. I had a lot of trust issues with Caayn. About 95% of the issues came from me and my trainload of baggage. 5% I will give to Caayn, for the few things he did. Nothing major to most people, but to issue-loaded folks like me, big enough. This past year I have made leaps and bounds mentally. I've been able to put a lot behind me. YAY! There's been a lot more happiness and laughter in our household. (Aside from Sully's bloodcurdling temper tantrum shrieks, of course.)

The biggest achievement of the year has to be the birth of Lochlan. Ummm, 8 hours of labor and 30 minutes of pushing? To have a wonderful, adorable, delicious new son who is the love of my life? By far the biggest achievement.

Speaking of... I've been considering this whole "heart" thing. We equate love with your heart. Not the physical, blood pumping heart. But an imaginary heart. One that many people seem to think is filled with a certain amount of love. We sign cards "with all our love", if someone dies there is a hole in your heart, when you have another child or pet people ask how you can "possibly love another?"... Lochlan is the love of my life. He is my heart. Sully is the love of my life. He is my heart. Caayn is the love of my life. He is my heart. Achilles is the love of my life. He is my heart. Athena is the love of my life. She is my heart. I'm not sure how it's possible. But it is true. Every morning I wake up to Lochlan's face. Sometimes he's sleeping, sometimes he's awake. It's a great way to wake up. Every night I go to sleep, he is the last thing I see. Usually from a distance of one inch. (He likes having someone as close as possible to him.)

On a similar vein... Our bedroom is our family room. 7 bodies sleep in our bed at night. This is why we have a king sized bed, haha. One person is missing though. Sully. He doesn't sleep well in our bed. He just stays awake, crawling around, then slowly getting cranky as he gets more tired. Sometimes I feel guilty knowing that the rest of our family is snuggled up without him. It's really weird. I'm still trying to grasp the fact that we seem to be co-sleeping with Lochlan. We never intended to. He was going to sleep in the bassinent of his pack n play. But he decided that was NOT for him and moved to our bed. From our bed, he has moved into someone's arms. He now won't fall asleep at night until one of us has him snugged into a crook of an arm. If he wakes up in the night, he can sleep elsewhere, but not for the first sleep. I don't mind it at all. I DO think its crazy that we are able to co-sleep with three dogs in the bed too.

Athena discovered the pack n play the other night. That is now her doggy bed. She has some super soft blankets that she curls into, and then she is out like a light. I think she might be over the pound limit for the bassinet (I *think* it is 20lbs, and she is 25lbs), but she is so cozy that I can't kick her out. Last night she was in there until at least 4:30am, which was the last time I was awake until 6, when Caayn got up for work, to discover her up. It's hilarious looking. I'll have to get some pictures. She also got a new crate yesterday. Ooh, thats a story...

So we got paid, had some gift cards and checks to cash... this, of course, meant a trip downtown for some shopping. First and foremost I wanted a crate for Athena. She was in a metal one, which was progressively getting more bent out of shape each time we left. I told Caayn that she would greet us at the door when we got home. So we went to Wal-Mart to look for a vari kennel. While we were there, Sully lost Robert. Robert is a stuffed dog. I was given Robert when I was really really little (might have been a gift when I was born, not positive though). I kept Robert with me all these years. When Sully was about 6 months old, I passed Robert on to him. He is now Sully's best friend. So losing Robert is a HUGE deal. I get freaked out, Sully gets freaked out, Caayn gets pissy... hehehe... We probably spent a good hour looking for him. Sully found him on the edge of a shelf that was about shoulder height on Caayn... just happened to look up and see him. Absolutely amazing. We trekked over to the mall, shopped at Target, checked stores for Nikes (I'm super super super picky about shoes and it always takes me forever to find a pair I like), stopped at Best Buy to return something to Jimmy, and then headed home.

Athena was, of course, at the door.

So she has a new crate. The metal one I am going to have Caayn fix (the front panel came off, but I am pretty sure he can fix it--Devil Dog managed to pull the back panel off the same crate and he got that back on), and then that will be the transport kennel. It'll just stay in the van so that whenever Athena or Achilles comes with us, we don't have to haul crates back and forth. Much easier! I think she likes this one better. It's more closed in, and a LOT more cozy.

My mother-in-law called yesterday with some scary news. She woke up to diarrhea all over her living room and her boxer sitting by the door. She let our her mastiff pup (ha, 170lb puppy...) and tried to get Amadeus out. He fell over. They tried to get him on the couch, he couldn't walk. Called the vet, they said bring him in... when they tried to pick him up to carry him to the car, he growled. Amadeus is the biggest sweetheart ever, so that was not a good sign. He crawled the whole way to the car, dragging his back legs behind him. They did some bloodwork but the vet they took him to wasn't their usual vet (I'm sure it was an emergency vet, since it was a Sunday) and they were going to charge them $500 to be paid now and then $500 the next day. She couldn't afford that, so they hooked her up with some antibiotics and pain medication, and she is taking him to her normal vet today. I'm crossing my fingers that he is okay. She would be devastated if something happened to him. (She's pretty upset as it is!)

I see that I digressed from my topic of resolutions. Oops! I'll have to get back to it. Lochlan is calling to be fed!