28 Weeks Today

Midwife appointment was good. She didn't really understand my lack of appetite thing--basically said that lots of women get full more quickly or that smells are a turn off... neither of which are my problem. I don't want to eat. I don't have ANY appetite at all. Yesterday I ate twice. That was it. Oh well. Gained 4 lbs. (In two weeks... Looks like this pregnancy will follow Sully's, where I gain most of my weight in the end.) Took my GD test, had the orange drink not fruit punch, but it was okay.

And! And I talked to her about my worry about postpartum depression. With my family history of depression, my own personal history of depression, and the severity I had it last time, I feel the odds are really stacked against me in having PPD return this time. So I have Zoloft. And you know what? When I first mentioned it, she asked what I had taken before and when I said nothing, she gave me a funny look. I don't understand. Is it really that uncommon for people who suffer from depression not to take pills? This is something I have struggled with for a long time. To -finally- break down and decide to get on a medication was a big deal. My family, we aren't really big on medicating. (Honestly, I can't remember anyone being on anything, other than my grandma and grandpa, and I'm pretty sure my grandma only started taking stuff recently.) I don't like the idea of taking something to alter my moods/chemicals. Heck, it is a struggle to get me to take plain old Tylenol. And to top it off, the midwife had to really go over everything. As if I haven't spent a lot of time researching this and weighing the information. I don't like being uninformed, lol. So yep. This is going to be me on drugs. Have I said I am excited? If not, I am. Kind of weird, I know, but I've been doing the depression thing on and off since around 14? A long time. I'm so done with it.

On the other hand (its a small hand, I promise), this means I won't be getting back on birth control. There's no way I will willingly be on multiple medications. Not unless I have to. So I may get back into the whole tracking thing, although I'm not sure how reliable it would be with a newborn in the house and hopefully breastfeeding and such... And Caayn might be getting a vasectomy. Well, that's the plan for the sometime soon future. Maybe I'll check out the IUDs. I've heard some really good things about the Mirena. I dunno, I still have time to think about all this.

I'll leave you on a silly note. Caayn popped in a Tonic cd earlier while we were driving. The first time I heard it, we were still living in a room at my aunt and uncle's house... it was around the time we got married/moved out here. I like them a lot. There's a song, number 11 to be exact, which I love love love. No clue why, it just resonates in me. I'd tell you the name of the song... or even the title of the cd... but I don't know either of those. But its a super good song! Just so ya know.