24 August 2007

28 Weeks Today

Midwife appointment was good. She didn't really understand my lack of appetite thing--basically said that lots of women get full more quickly or that smells are a turn off... neither of which are my problem. I don't want to eat. I don't have ANY appetite at all. Yesterday I ate twice. That was it. Oh well. Gained 4 lbs. (In two weeks... Looks like this pregnancy will follow Sully's, where I gain most of my weight in the end.) Took my GD test, had the orange drink not fruit punch, but it was okay.

And! And I talked to her about my worry about postpartum depression. With my family history of depression, my own personal history of depression, and the severity I had it last time, I feel the odds are really stacked against me in having PPD return this time. So I have Zoloft. And you know what? When I first mentioned it, she asked what I had taken before and when I said nothing, she gave me a funny look. I don't understand. Is it really that uncommon for people who suffer from depression not to take pills? This is something I have struggled with for a long time. To -finally- break down and decide to get on a medication was a big deal. My family, we aren't really big on medicating. (Honestly, I can't remember anyone being on anything, other than my grandma and grandpa, and I'm pretty sure my grandma only started taking stuff recently.) I don't like the idea of taking something to alter my moods/chemicals. Heck, it is a struggle to get me to take plain old Tylenol. And to top it off, the midwife had to really go over everything. As if I haven't spent a lot of time researching this and weighing the information. I don't like being uninformed, lol. So yep. This is going to be me on drugs. Have I said I am excited? If not, I am. Kind of weird, I know, but I've been doing the depression thing on and off since around 14? A long time. I'm so done with it.

On the other hand (its a small hand, I promise), this means I won't be getting back on birth control. There's no way I will willingly be on multiple medications. Not unless I have to. So I may get back into the whole tracking thing, although I'm not sure how reliable it would be with a newborn in the house and hopefully breastfeeding and such... And Caayn might be getting a vasectomy. Well, that's the plan for the sometime soon future. Maybe I'll check out the IUDs. I've heard some really good things about the Mirena. I dunno, I still have time to think about all this.

I'll leave you on a silly note. Caayn popped in a Tonic cd earlier while we were driving. The first time I heard it, we were still living in a room at my aunt and uncle's house... it was around the time we got married/moved out here. I like them a lot. There's a song, number 11 to be exact, which I love love love. No clue why, it just resonates in me. I'd tell you the name of the song... or even the title of the cd... but I don't know either of those. But its a super good song! Just so ya know.


Leigh said...

I can relate to the no appetite feeling. That's the one thing my midwife was on me for...but I just was never hungry! And even now, postpartum and nursing, I still don't have an appetite and I feel so guilty about it.
Anyways, I'm glad you are taking an intuitive and proactive approach to PPD. Do what you need to do, what you feel is right. That's most important. :)