CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

06 February 2007

Cats and why they bug

I have to start this with a not-so-honorable mention. The cat. First off, I'm not overly fond of them. My mom had them when I was growing up, and so did my grandma. Well, my grandma had one, a Siamese named Tiffany. Anyway, and the cats I grew up around were specifically their owners' cats. As in, generally they didn't want to be around other people, just my mom or grandma. One cat my mom had was really bad. His name was Stinkin' Eddie. Yeah, that was his real name, and what we called him. I have clear memories of walking from my house to my next-door neighbor's house, half the house was hedged with a particular kind of bush--I see it in my mind but don't have a name--and Stinkin' Eddie was laying across the top of it. As I pass him, he would scramble up and pounce on me. I also have memories of him chasing me in circles. Evil! So that mostly led me in my teen years to assume that I just hated adult cats and that maybe I liked kittens. My mom got a kitten. It was kind of funny, but involved a lot of scratches.

Flash-forward to my twenties (remember, I only just turned 21 in November)... We bought a kitten for Christmas. Oops, too far forward. In November (not this last one, but the one before) the weather was cold like it usually is. We saw a mom cat and 2 babies meandering around and then jumping into a storm drain. I promptly tell Caayn that he has to go out there and see if he can get them. (One of us is always rescuing animals.) No dice. We see them again the next day. We take turns in the cold waiting above the drain where they can't see us, hoping to catch one. We call the Security Forces, who tell us to call some Bio something or other, who I think called the Fire Department, even though it is that Bio places job to catch "wild" animals and move them (the damn idiots). The fire department has no luck. Apparently the drain is like miles long, and while there are many exits, they have no way of knowing which one they went out. They leave. Anyway, suffice to say, after more nights of seeing the family troop in the cold and snow, I notice the smaller kitten is really starting to lag. I'm sure if she was out any longer, she would have died. They are running along the 4-plex across the street from us, jumping up on the porches as they go. The little kitten can't keep up. I jam my feet into my shoes and haul ass across the street. She tried to run, but I pinned her against the house and scruffed her. We kept her in the bathtub for awhile, not knowing what to do. The next day, a neighbor in the next 4-plex over brought us the other kitten. He'd tried to help a bit so he knew we were trying to get them, got bitten pretty bad while doing it too! Long story short, we named them Captain and Tenille (heh). Captain died one night. It was really awful. We called Security Forces and had them take Tenille, since I just couldn't keep her after that.

Caayn realized he liked cats, and I agreed. It was nice having them in the house. So we went cat shopping. I picked out this really funny looking spotted, striped, red and grey and white cat with a black nose. She was hilarious looking!

Anyway, it turns out that I can't stand the psychoness of a kitten, how they run around the house at full speed and play with everything. I can't pinpoint exactly what it is that bugs me, because overall, it doesn't... And no matter how much I tried to ignore the cat, she somehow ended up being mine. She freaking follows me everywhere and is always all laying on my head at night or stepping in my gut. She's not too bad as an adult, I must say. We did remove her front nails (yeah I know, I'm really opposed to it, but it was either that or get rid of her since she had just left track marks down Sully's face and over his eye)... However...

She is in heat. We've dealt with it before, and ended up with kittens. Mighty fine kittens, which was kind of cool. Even though my mom bred dogs when I was little, I've never witnessed an animal birthing in front of me. (And whatever nurses and OBs say, this cat did not purr during birth--she yowled in pain. DUH. It hurts. The idiots!) This time though... we were supposed to get her fixed. Too late. It's driving me utterly insane. I can't have her in the house because it totally brings out this primal need to destroy. As in I literally have to fight the urge to do bodily harm to her. Geez, that makes ME sound like a good person, huh? Caayn doesn't understand, he thinks I'm crazy (I am) but I can't help it. When dogs go into heat, if a male is around, she'll get kind of rabbity and a little slutty, and depending on the breed, she'll bleed a little (or a lot). Thats fine. When a cat goes into heat, she's writhing about obscenely, laying with her legs spread, cat crotch waving about in the air while letting loose this brain-jangling "YELLO!" (I do a fine impersonation, if I might add, enough so that she will come racing to me, hehe)... Over and over. She'll jump on the table we eat dinner on (grr), writhe around, knock everything off the table, counters, etc. Sully finds it utterly hilarious, and will try to lay on her, which he does all the time anyway, and she'll like try to rub herself on his head. Seriously.

We have a storage room in the garage that is heated to whatever temp we keep the house (weird, huh?), so I've been trying to keep her out there where I won't have to get annoyed watching the cat try to prostitute herself to the dogs... Except now she's "YELLO"ing so loud that I can hear her in the house.

Anyway want a cat?

And here I was thinking I was going to write about an article I read on WebMD. Keep your fingers crossed, we're in the homestretch now. You don't need to know why you are keeping your appendages crossed right now, but I'll explain in a few days.

5 comments:

Jimmy said...

Ok... so I was laughing to begin with... then I pictured yall chasing down a kitten in the snow... then the names just killed me... overall... I died laughing...
And I hope you and Caayn arn't trying to do the "watch our cat while we go on vacation then forget to pick her up" routine... haha...

Momma_Phoenix said...

Haha! Yeah, whatever you pictured for the chasing of the kittens in the snow? It was probably 10 times funnier. I left out the fact that we both chased them through a big lot on the corner like 3 or 4 times... those buggers were fast.

*evil grin* I wish, lol. Caayn likes her though, and well, what can I say? His boyish charms win me over. (That and when she isn't busy making god-awful noises and rolling about, she's actually not bad.)

Jimmy said...

You should get her knocked up again... that way her belly would hang further down... that way she would act like a swiffer sweeper and clean the hardwood floors while she walks...

Momma_Phoenix said...

LOL! That would be brilliant. We've actually considered it (the pregnant cat thing, not the using her as a dustmop), but he thinks I'll be even worse about the kittens. :D I nearly convinced him to let me keep some, even though I dislike kitten antics!

Jimmy said...

Shoulda kept the orange one... the boy... that way when he grows up you can breed him and "the snitch" and make 2 headed 3 eyed 6 legged kittens... Dude!