16 July 2007

Today's A Day For Change

I'm doing it today. At 5:30pm to be exact.

I'm cutting my hair. That's right. The exact style at this point in time is still up in the hair... I obsess over this as much as I do my choice in tattoos. I have to come armed with photos, etc. So I have a little collage thingy of different cuts. 4 are variations on the pixie cut, 1 is a longer version of that (which I feel might be the one I go with, since it definitely is giving off the right vibe), 2 are versions of the bob. This might be a situation where we go with the bob styles, then maybe keep some long front sections and go shorter in back, and if THATS not it, then go the rest of the way. I'm really excited.

This morning I read the most amazing birth story ever. I came across this woman and several others in the course of reading Kate's blog, and the bunch of them are such strong, vibrant women that I get a chance to feel connected to women even in a place where I have no girls to call friends. (Was that as painful to read as it was to write out? Ick. I to learn to write my thoughts better.) Anyway, I am totally digressing. Her story was so long and rambling, I could feel it flowing from her fingers like it would be in her mind. That's exactly my kind of thoughts, hence my rambling posts about lots of nada. I got braxton hicks from reading about her pushing. This is also why I can't watch any birthing shows on tv anymore... I catch myself holding my breath and pushing or just tensing my muscles along with them, as if I could somehow help.

It makes me look forward to my labor. Every day I try to find more to read that sends positive messages and shows me good outcomes, so that maybe I can find something to add to my vision of my birth. I never wrote about my midwife appt. It was full of info. Caayn, not being the hormonally challenged woman, took the info with a grain of salt. Me? I worried. I was told that if I don't have favorable change at my 37 wk appt, I will probably be getting another c-section. Which I desperately want to avoid. This is, of course, dumb advice too. Not all women have change at that time, and I doubt a woman who would go on to vaginally birth a healthy baby at 42 weeks would show any change at that point... See what I mean? I feel threatened. Like someone is trying to snatch my dream from me. The rest of my discussion with Gloria was awesome. She gave me information that I didn't know previously (like I don't have to have an IV unless I become dehydrated, which the nurses told me last time I HAD to have no matter what), that I can eat, but only "clear" stuff (better than the nothing I ate for probably close to 24-28 hrs before Sully was born)... I can change positions during pushing... This was the most exciting bit she told me. I was thrilled. With Sully, I pushed for 1 1/2 hours on my back, with them forcing my to hold my thighs... UGH! Most uncomfortable position ever.

So when I read something like Leigh's story, I get recharged, ready to go. I am able to remember that they cannot make me do anything. Unless something really bad is happening, there is nothing stopping me from doing this naturally. Let's channel Bob the Builder and keep the "Can we do it? YES WE CAN!" mentality flowing.

Oh... I'll post before and after pictures of the hair later tonight. Everyone cross their limbs and appendages that it comes out looking good and that I won't need to spend the next 6 months wearing bandanas...

One last change I've been considering.... Getting my right ear pierced again. Yep, I only have one ear pierced. Got them both done when I was 12 or so, but the right side of my body seems to have problems with metal and that ear got really infected. Took 'em out... 3 years later stuck a safety pin in the left ear, spent 3 hours or so struggling to get one in the other ear, but alas... I'm a little worried though, because I want my earrings to match. I'm using what was once a nipple ring, which I think is like a 12 or 14 gauge, and I'd either have to get a normal piercing (I think 16 is your typical earring size) and then stretch it or get it started that big. I don't even know where I'd get that done out here, lol. Would be interesting though, since I haven't seen myself with both ears done in a long time. Whoa. Almost 10 years. Weird how that creeps up on you.

Funny how pregnancy makes me want to change things. It must be a sort of "rearranging the furniture" of my body so that things are ready for the baby. And speaking of that... I need to paint Sully's room, so that I can then paint the baby's room and not feel guilty.