13 June 2007


*Disclaimer: I know they are called little people, that that is the PC term. However, in the following story, I am, in fact, referring to the mythical dwarves from stories and games.

We moved into this house at the tail-end of November. I think we spent T-Day here, but I'm not sure. It was probably about a month after that when I noticed it. My kitchen isn't very big, it's smaller than my old one with a lot less counter space and cupboard space. I keep all my mugs and glasses in one cupboard. This would be fine, except for the smell. When you open that cupboard, about 1/3 of the time, a big waft of men's cologne comes out. Probably something a teen would slap too much of on, I think Preferred Stock comes to mind, but I haven't smelled that in a long time, so I can't be certain. The very first time it happened, I exclaimed that a very small dwarf must have spent a fair amount of time in there. It's freaky. I also joked about how I swear I didn't hide a guy in there...

Before I wrote this, I was having breakfast with Sully. Cheerios (in a bowl) with a 'foon and molk. Sully's words. (He always lets you know how he wants them, because half the time he eats cereal straight out of the box... just like his daddy.) I wanted something to drink, and being pregnant, I tend to steer towards water. The smell hit me again. Ugh. I knew I had to remember to get this out, because I've been meaning to write about it since I first started this thing. (See how good my memory is?) Oh well.

So that is my story. A cupboard that smells an awful lot like a male dwarf.

Although, I got to thinking about how this could have happened. No other cupboard smells like this. Not even the one that shares a wall with it. I live in military housing. So let's take a look at who lived here before. Another military family. Perhaps the guy was a drinker, and kept his favorite glass there. Maybe he got deployed. So what does his wife do? Sticks his cologne in there, where it would waft out each time she opened the cupboard.


Maybe it belonged to an A1C, who got divorced, and being a bachelor, decided to keep his grooming products near the sink? (Why not in any of our 3 bathrooms, no idea..)

Hmm. I think I'm just grasping at straws.

My last idea was that maybe the wife chopped off her husband's head, and for lack of a better place, kept it in that cupboard. After all, our house has a lot of trashed floor and walls and spots. Housing tried to clean up, but they don't do the floors very well, and their paint doesn't cover spackle like it should. (In the master bedroom, someone cut a big square, badly, out of the hardwood floor... why? Maybe to shove chopped up body parts down. WHO KNOWS?!

I think I need to stop thinking about this, and go color with Sully. Sounds like a good plan to me.

(On a side note, totally unrelated to all of this: I felt the baby last night. Not felt it kick, but felt it with my fingers. It was a little hard lump that made me feel a little ill when pressed, which is what would happen when you touched Sully inside me. Plus, it disappeared after a little too much poking. And once, when Caayn had his hand there, feeling the kid, I felt it kick. Unfortunately it's still too small to be felt from the outside, because I would have liked for Caayn to feel that too. There were more funny flutterings from in there for about 10 minutes before the kid calmed down or turned to a direction where I can't readily feel the movement. It was fun though.)