28 June 2007

Freaking Out!

I'm getting more and more nervous about tomorrow. Every night for the past week or so I've been dreaming about twins, twin girls to be precise, which Caayn keeps joking will happen... One night they even had names, which I don't remember now. I'm pretty sure there is just one, since I often feel the bugger move and have been thinking if it was twins I would be feeling two of those kinds of movements. Tomorrow is a big day. June 29th. Unveiling of the much hyped iPhone as well as the unveiling of the contents of my uterus. Whoohoo!

Sully has a new obsession with booboos and bandaids. He thinks everything is a booboo and that they all need bandaids. He prefers they go across his shin. It's quite silly.

Also, I found out my dad has been trying to find me on the internet. According to my mom, who has tenative phone connections with my sister-in-law (thats a whole bucket of worms), my SIL said that while visiting my dad, he told her he had found a phone number that he thought might be mine. He wanted to know if she'd be willing to call it and see. She said no, mostly because we haven't talked since I left and she thought it would be weird. (It would be.) So now I am not picking up my phone if the phone number is one I don't know. Caayn isn't allowed to answer his phone if its one he doesn't know either. He must not be good at the hunting online thing... I did one search on one website and am 99.7% sure I found a site that will give up all my public records (for $40 bucks)... I'm sure because it lists having 2 addresses for me on the base and 1 downtown.... which is exactly my history. It's freaking me out pretty bad, I must say. I'm trying to convince Caayn to let me meet with the legal office, to see if there is anything I can do to make this stop. I'm also considering writing a letter to my dad to tell him to STOP (of course, mailing it to my mom so that she could mail it from a different state..)

*sigh* I hate feeling like such a paranoid freak. I think Caayn feels I'm overreacting, but I can't help it. It'd be one thing if my dad had any reason for doing all this. But he doesn't!! He just does it for no motive that anyone can see. That's weird. And freaky. I've only once in my life wished for someone to literally die... but I often find myself wishing my dad would. I have no plans on telling Sully he is alive, and I have no plans on him ever coming within 100 miles of my family. It's awful. Why couldn't my uncle be my dad? He's the most awesome man I have ever ever met, and I still regret every day that my mom wouldn't let my aunt and uncle legally adopt me. Ugh. What a nightmare my life can be at times. Hopefully Sully's and this next one (I don't know what to call it...) have a nice, normal life. No weird family junk. Happy memories.

Tomorrow. I'm excited. I'm gonna buy something for the baby after the ultrasound... it'll be cute. And hopefully have dinosaurs on it. Cute ones.

Also... I'm having another desire to buy an iPod... I would really have no use for it... but I want one!


Annalisa said...

Good luck tomorrow. Everything will be fine!